


Remedy's Key

by MagicalMajestys



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Battle of the Bands, But I've planned this out so it's ok, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I am not funny, M/M, Multi, My emotions got the best of me, band au, pianist!Armin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-19 21:51:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1485340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalMajestys/pseuds/MagicalMajestys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"When people ask me how it felt to stand up on that stage I would tell them about the warmth of the lights on my body as my fingers slid over keys or the sound of the heavy beat and our badly tuned instruments mixed into an almost deafening vibration. I would tell them about the rush I would feel as I swayed with every motion, every lingering note, as my fingertips danced along the keyboard. I would then tell them that I was homesick and that I would silently reminisce of how badly I craved to be up there with my friends, how badly I craved to play again, although I knew that wasn't the life I was meant to lead and I'm sure they knew that too..."</i>
</p><p> </p><p>After leaving his debt ridden high school band The Titans, to join a prestigious yet well known school, Armin Arlet returns and earns his title as band manager despite his passion to play for the music world. When entering the battle of the bands they are met with a familiar face, but are they up to the competition?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes! New fic! New fic! Okay, I am really excited to finally be writing my band au so yeah, awesome, this is planned out (shockingly). The first chapter may a bit confusing with the introduction etc. but it will be explained throughout the story so no worries.
> 
> I am going to keep listing the songs I use in my fic every chapter (don't worry, I won't spam the story with lyrics) the song in this chapter is American Idiot by Green Day.

_When people asked me how it felt to stand on stage I was never lost for words, though the thrill was always hard to describe to those haven‘t experienced it themselves. I still remember the first gig we played, if it can even be called a gig, our equipment set up on the porch of the Kirschtein residence and our audience ended up being most of our classmates anyway. Eren had told me we should always be grateful for an opportunity to perform, so I listened intently to the small speech he would feed us after each show as we stored our instruments back into his basement. The next few weeks after that first gig we had gotten, we practiced non-stop down there, never letting the rest of our friends fall behind in our rush to perfect our sound, though we still didn’t write our own music back then.  
_

 _When people ask me how it felt to stand up on that stage I would tell them about the warmth of the lights on my body as my fingers slid over keys or the sound of the heavy beat and our badly tuned instruments mixed into an almost deafening vibration. I would tell them about the rush I would feel as I swayed with every motion, every lingering note, as my fingertips danced along the keyboard. I would then tell them that I was homesick and that I would silently reminisce of how badly I craved to be up there with my friends, how badly I craved to play again, although I knew that wasn't the life I wasn't meant to lead and I’m sure they knew that too. They say I have so many opportunities and too much potential to waste on those that drive my passion. I couldn't do that to them, not to Eren, Annie or Bertholdt, not to Reiner, Ymir or even Jean. It wasn’t my calling. It wasn’t my choice. It’s just the way things were supposed to be._

“Hey, guys, listen up,” Jean said, after we had finished playing a particularly loud song, setting his bass guitar on the stand beside the wall and turning towards us, “I don’t want to sound like a drag and all but things are going to shit and I’m done with it.”

“We just got here,” Eren sneered, “You can’t just walk out, we’ve got more songs to practice this session.”

“No, dickwad,” Jean sighed, scratching the back of his neck, “I’m done with this. The band. My girlfriend just got back from Japan and well she…she offered me a place in her band and well, we aren’t getting anywhere, you know? We are all in a shit load of debt and we can‘t even get a steady running booking”

“What are you saying, man,” Reiner grumbled, putting down his guitar and walking up to the two toned blonde, pushing his swinging hands deep into his pockets.

“You know exactly what I’m saying. We can’t play for shit, we can’t book any gigs, we can’t even write our own fucking music.”

“You can’t just spring it on us like this,” Bertholdt mumbled from the back, getting up from his drum kit to join us at the front of the room, “No warning, nothing?”

“Jean,” Eren growled, stepping forward and grabbing him by the collar of his plain black shirt, “You can’t just walk out on us like this.”

“Guys, stop,” I squeaked, pushing myself between them and forcing Eren to let go of him, though they seemed to get angrier and angrier every passing second, “They’re right, Jean. You can’t just leave us without any kind of warning first! Forget about the band for a second! We’re your friends and you-”

“Fuck if I can’t,” Jean snarled, pushing me away from him until I backed into Eren, “Are you losers going to stop me? You really think a fucking sociopath, his two goons and a little prepubescent nerd can stop me from walking away from this shit heap of a band, you seriously think you can?”

I winced a little at the hurtful words spewing from his mouth. The argument between them went on for a while until Jean grabbed his guitar, shoved it into the case and stormed out of the basement, pushing past a uncharacteristically startled Mikasa on her way to check on us. Eren sighed and sat down into one of the worn armchairs kept down there for the band’s many lunch breaks or whatever excuse we came up with. Jean was right and we all knew it. The band was lucky enough carry on this long without a breaking point, it was about time someone cracked. I sat down beside Eren as he buried his face into his hands for a split second before mumbling something and looking back up at me, his face resolving back into that familiar mask of determination.

“We’re better off without him,” he whispered, grin widening hysterically, “We can do it, he’ll see. Once we make it big he will regret ever leaving. The Titans will hit it big one day, he’ll see…he’ll see…”

\---6 Years Later---

“One, two. One, two, three, four!”

I almost thought my ears were going to explode when Ymir strummed down on her guitar, the sound blaring through the speakers, scaring me stiff in my seat across from the small stage. Eren grinned down at me from his place in front of the microphone, nodding his head in time to the beat before pulling the mic closer and singing along to the music.

_Don’t wanna be an American idiot_  
 _Don't want a nation under the new media_  
 _And can you hear the sound of hysteria?_  
 _The subliminal mind fuck America._

Reiner chuckled from his position at the front of the stage, quickly glancing back at Annie who plucked at her bass guitar, stoic expression still intact. Bertholdt definitely wasn’t one to be distracted as he continued to smash against the cymbal of his kit, drumsticks twirling between his spindly fingers. I continued to watch from the front of the room, cross legged on the floor of Eren’s soft green rug. They were better than good after practicing this song only after a couple of sessions and I sure was thankful to be the manger of such a talented band. It was hard to believe that we weren’t that shitty high school group playing out of tune instruments anymore after that mess all those years ago, it set us onto a new path, giving us a fresh start. We had found Annie half a year after Jean had left the band with not so much as a goodbye and she was an exceptional bass player, even better than Jean, or how he used to be anyway. Mikasa, Eren’s sister, had found her playing with a couple of others at some nightclub in the city and Reiner and Bertholdt had found Ymir shortly after that. They were quickly accepted into the group as we found out that Ymir had played multiple instruments throughout her life, giving us more variety in our music choices. I dropped out of the band in the first year however, after being accepted into a suitable college due to my grades in high school. When I turned nineteen I agreed to rejoin The Titans as their manager but here I am at age twenty three, still supervising my rowdy bunch of friends as they, as Eren would say, tried to make their way to the top.

_Welcome to a new kind of tension._  
 _All across the alien nation_  
 _Where everything isn't meant to be okay._  
 _Television dreams of tomorrow._  
 _We're not the ones who're meant to follow._  
 _For that's enough to argue._

The song ended and the group cheered as I got up from my seat on the floor, clapping and laughing along with them while they put their instruments down. This is the fourth song they had aced this week.

“Guys,” Eren said, grinning widely and setting his microphone back into its stand, “I have an announcement to make!”

“Go on then,” Ymir said wiping her sweat covered hand onto her dark red skinny jeans.

“Well, it’s battle of the band season,” he continued, holding up a flyer and glancing around at the curious faces on stage, “and this year I thought we could finally sign up! We all know we are good enough, so why not?”

“Eren,” I cut in, “I know this is something you’ve been wanting to do but I don’t know…Those competitions are pretty tough, that one in particular is-”

“Come on, Armin! Didn‘t you hear us playing just now,” he whined, hopping off of the platform to stand beside me, shoving the flyer into my hands, “Just read it over, it’ll be cool I promise!”

I quickly scanned the paper then looked back up at Eren who was now giving me puppy dog eyes and bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. I tried my best to look away but failed miserably, returning my attention back towards the flyer.

“The sign ups are tomorrow, Eren…” I sighed, looking towards the others, “What do the rest of you think because if you guys are in, I’m in.”

Reiner looked back at the others for confirmation while Annie just shrugged and Ymir grinned back. Bertholdt nodded and put down his drumsticks to begin twiddling his thumbs and out of the corner of my eye I could see a smug looking grin grace Eren’s features, knowing I had been beaten. I let out a small sigh and stuck the flyer into my pocket, finally looking back up to face the group.

“I suppose we’re in.”

\---

“Holy shit, it’s crowded in here,” Eren sighed, fanning himself with his hand, “If it gets any hotter I am going to die!”

“I told you it would be,” I said, pushing through the swarm of people crowded around the entrance, “Now we’ve just got to find out where we sign up.”

“I don’t know how we are supposed to find it with all these people in the way,” Annie mumbled.

“Oh! Over there!” Eren practically squealed, grabbing me by the sleeve and tugging me along with him as the rest of the group followed slowly behind, “Come on, Armin! Hurry up! We need to get there before-Oof-”

All I could do was stare in horror as Eren crashed into the back of a tall man heading towards the line. I pulled him beside me as the rest of his group stopped to turn and stare at the two of us, confused to why the man hadn’t continued walking.

After standing still for a few seconds, most likely contemplating murder, he whipped around to growl at the idiot who had ran straight into him, “Watch where you’re going, Ja-Jaeger!?”

“Jean, who’s this?” A girl from ahead of the group appeared, clutching onto his arm but he was refusing to move, staring down at Eren in shock. She wore a white tank top and beige colored chinos, matched with a pair of dark brown boots, her long hair was pulled up into a ponytail and she peered up at us in confusion, “Well, come on! Introduce me to your friends, already!”

“J-Jean,” Eren stuttered, eyes widening, “Oh, hell no!”

“Hey Eren,” Reiner called from behind, finally catching up to us, “Why’d you stop just-” the rest of our group finally stopped to stare as well, Bertholdt and Reiner in complete shock and Ymir and Annie from confusion, “Jean?”

“Y-you…” Jean tried to speak but couldn’t continue, putting his head in his hands and groaning loudly before removing them, “Where’s Armin?”

“I’ve been here the whole time,” I stated calmly, gazing up at him carefully as he finally became aware of my presence.

“Woah, shit,” he chuckled, awkwardly averting his eyes, “I didn’t even recognize you…you look completely different from when I last saw you.”

I shrugged. It’s true my growth spurt had been a minor yet sweet victory for me but I looked more or less the same despite my new habit of tying my hair into a ponytail once it got in the way, though I still refused to cut any of it off apart from my fringe. Unless he was referring to my voice, which had deepened a bit since our last encounter.

“You too, metal mouth,” he grinned at Eren, the familiar snarky expression he wore quickly returning to his sharp features.

“I got my braces removed four years ago, jackass. You can’t really use that as an insult anymore,” Eren droned back, obviously tired of making any sort of conversation.

“Hey!” the girl whined again, pulling Jean’s arm much more forcefully this time, “Don’t ignore me! Who are they!?”

Jean sighed and pulled out of her grip, “We should go join the line, we can walk and talk, and I’ll introduce you guys.”

“Oooh, okay” she hummed, clearly satisfied, “Let’s go!”

The two groups awkwardly followed one behind the other as they squished between crowds and joined the large queue leading towards a table in the distance.

“This is Sasha. My girlfriend,” Jean said, putting his arm around her before shooting Eren another sharp glare, “I can’t get over it. Out of the people here today why was it you that had to bump into me.”

“That’s not very nice, Jean,” said a freckle faced boy, emerging from behind him and making his way toward us, “I’m Marco Bodt, Squad 104’s manager.”

“Armin Arlet,” I said, politely extending my hand, “The Titans’ manager.”

“Manager-!?” Jean shrieked, returning his gaze back to me.

Marco smiled and ignored Jean, taking my hand and shaking it with a pleasant nod, “What about the rest of your band here.”

“That’s Eren,” I smiled, pointing towards the now pouting brunet, who obviously wanted out of this situation, “And behind me here is Reiner, Bertholdt, Ymir and Annie.”

“Ah,” he chuckled, grinning back and pointing towards the members of his band, “That’s Connie, Christa and…well, it looks like you are already well acquainted with Jean, right?” he giggled, “How about you guys join us for lunch later on. It would be nice to hang out with some of Jean’s friends.”

“Hey!” Jean growled, “They aren’t my friends, they-”

“Lunch!” Sasha squealed, grabbing Connie‘s shoulders and shaking him violently side to side, “Oh, I can‘t wait! You guys wouldn’t believe how hungry I am right now!”

“You’re always hungry, Sasha,” Connie replied, tugging her ponytail, “But yeah, I'm feeling pretty famished myself.”

“Shit,” Jean mumbled, glancing back down at his incredibly cheery girlfriend “Fine they can come but someone keep metal mouth over there away from me.”

“I told you I don‘t wear them any more, you damn horseface!” Eren snarled back.

I grabbed him by his jacket and pulled him back. Starting a fight with Jean right now would give people the wrong impression and Jean’s band seemed nice enough despite Jean’s own unpleasant attitude.

“Oh, look!” Christa squeaked, pointing towards the table that had gotten suddenly closer as we moved further up the line, “We’re next!“ Her voice was higher than I had expected despite her petite form, it made me wonder what instrument she played or if she even played an instrument at all, knowing some bands did have some interestingly talented musicians much like we had Ymir.

Sasha grinned and skipped all the way to the large table where a ecstatic looking woman sat, bouncing in her chair while adjusting her goggle like glasses before glancing up at the large group.

“Are you all one band!?” She exclaimed, peering at our faces individually, “because I’ve never seen something quite like this before! I don’t know if we even have a maximum amount or if-”

“No,” Marco chuckled, interrupting her near rant and brushing past his friends to make his way towards the large table, “We are all friends here though. This is my band.” He pointed towards his group of friends that all smiled and waved towards the woman who greeted them one that was slightly more enthusiastic.

“I see, I see!” she giggled, “I’m Hanji Zoe! I’ll be the one running this competition, along with my friend Mike but he’s sick, unfortunately! Bad cold, you know? I just need both of your band names,” she nodded towards us, “and then I’ll give you some papers with the dates, addresses and rules and then you’re good to go, my friend!”

“Well,” Marco said, clearing his throat, “The band I’m entering are Squad 104 and the other group over there are-”

“The Titans,” Eren cut in, walking forward to join Marco beside the desk before smirking up at him, “We’re The Titans.”

\---

“I thought you said your girlfriend was Japanese, horseface,” Eren mumbled mid chew into his burger.

“That was probably just your interpretation numbskull,” Jean snapped back, sinking into his seat beside Sasha, who was happily munching on her fries, “She can speak the language though, sings it too sometimes.”

“Mhhm!” she hummed into her food, “I can’t believe you guys used to be in a band together though! What a small world, huh?”

I nodded and sipped my drink as Connie continued the conversation. I hadn’t done much talking throughout lunch though Marco asked the occasional question or two. Bertholdt and Christa hadn’t said a word either but Connie had told me beforehand that she was just shy around new people and opens up quickly once everyone gets to know each other. It turned out Squad 104 had come together pretty quickly once Jean joined the band, I could see they were grateful for it and despite us losing a member we became a better group with better musicians much like them. After everyone had finished eating I began to look through the terms for the competition. The rules were pretty simple though they differed from any other sort of band versus band competition any of them had heard of before.

“So, apparently there are five stages of the competition,” I read allowed, “Covers of songs must be played until the final stage of the competition where we must use our own songs that we have written. There will be a different dress code and theme for each stage, if a band violates this term they will be immediately eliminated from the competition. Also, all bands are invited to attend events hosted by Hanji Zoe or any other prime member of the competition.”

“Sounds good,” Ymir said, leaning across the table to glance at the paper, “What is the first stage.”

“It says Band’s Choice. So we can wear and play whatever we want,” Annie murmured from beside me. I sighed and looked down at the paper, rereading some of the information and ignoring useless scrawl Hanji had added before handing the paper to Eren who looked like he was about to jump for joy.

“When is it?” Christa eventually spoke up once we had all fallen into a comfortable silence, looking up from her strawberry milkshake to glance between my friends and I.

“Next week,” I confirmed quickly before anyone else interrupted, “It’ll be alright if you have a song prepared, The Titans will be able to use one we practiced this week.”

Jean chuckled and looked over at me from his seat across the table, golden eyes glinting under the lights of the café, “Then you better be ready Armin, competition will be stiff this year. Trust me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle begins, Hanji won't shut up, Eren is a fangirl and Jean and Armin have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes it's the first stage of the competition! I hope I didn't make everyone way too ooc because of fangirl Eren (oops).
> 
> Not all chapters are going to have songs because that will probably become extremely annoying (it may be better to listen to the music just to get the feel for it so here are the songs in this chapter in order):  
> Electric- Go Back To The Zoo  
> Just One Yesterday- Fall Out Boy  
> Wish- Olivia Lufkin  
> (and if you are curious about which Lil Jon song that was playing in the club it was Turn Down For What, even though it isn't mentioned.)

“Woah, this place is awesome,” Eren said in awe, glancing around the venue as large groups of people shuffled around the room, placing props and lights around the stage and barricading it off from its audience.

The first address on the paper Hanji had handed us last week led towards an abandon warehouse, located in the centre of the city. Well, at least it had looked abandoned when we had arrived. After debating for at least ten minutes as to whether or not we should enter, Ymir had kicked open the door with out warning and we were greeted with a rather pleasant sight. I had to agree with Eren’s judgement of the place, its interior sure looked pretty cool despite its outer appearance. 

We walked for a while longer until finding our designated seats in the audience where many other bands sat. Reiner grinned down out the small labels stuck to each chair, reading the names of different bands and even Annie cracked a small smile. The seats beside us were empty however and Eren quickly ran to sit in the chair separating our two bands. I glanced at the labels scattered across the empty seats, and sat down beside him. The Corps. It was an interesting name I suppose. They may have been too late in getting there though as the familiar figure of Hanji and a tall man I hadn't seen before walked onto the now completely set up stage, grabbing the two microphones at the front.

“Good evening, folks!” Hanji grinned, bouncing in her place, “I hope you’re all ready to perform tonight! I'm sure you all remember me from last week, Hanji Zoe if you don’t,” she said with a wink, “And this big guy right up here is my good friend Mike. He doesn't talk much.”

Mike nodded in response and Hanji continued, “As you all know, this is stage one of the competition so it will be band’s choice! I will hand out the addresses for the next location at the end of this stage so be sure to stick around.”

“But first up today,” Mike finally cut in, “We have The Corps playing Electric by Go Back To The Zoo.”

He grinned at the crowd and tugged Hanji along with him off stage. A murmuring came over the audience and I looked up to see a group of people sporting plain white t-shirts and matching black skinny jeans take the stage. They seemed to be pretty well known amongst the crowd although the lead singer didn’t seem to spare a glance at them as he grabbed the microphone and adjusted it to his size. On the topic of size, the man seemed to be a lot shorter than average height and most of his band members towered over him, with an exception of a small ginger haired girl who picked up a neon green guitar and began to fix the straps.

“Oh my god, Armin,” Eren squealed, shaking slightly in his seat, “It’s him! Levi Rivaille. Oh my god, oh my god…”

I studied the man behind the microphone carefully as he nodded towards the rest of his band mates to count down the start of the song. He looked more displeased with being here than anything but even I had to admit that he was extraordinarily good looking despite the scowl etched across his features. They honestly didn't look all that impressive but I instantaneously took that thought back on the first strum of the small girl’s electric guitar. 

_There is a song I wanna sing_  
 _I don’t know where I’m to begin_  
 _She’s got that song I wanna sing_  
 _She knows the words the melody_

They all moved in sync with the music and surprisingly the singer’s previously stoic expression softened as he sang. His originally uncomforting awkwardness also disappeared as he smirked charismatically up at the crowd as they erupted into squeals and loud cheers at the well deserved attention he was finally giving them.

_Woah, I'm so electric_

I glanced at Eren who was now perched at the edge of his seat, cheering along with the rest of his crowd and desperately trying to mask the flush I could see covering his cheeks. I covered up an amused snort and continued watching the performance, grinning as the singer finally looked our way, eyes flickering quickly over our band members and the empty seats beside us.

_The palest skin, the golden hair_  
 _You make me wild with your hungry stare_

I think Eren blushed even harder at this as the singer’s eyes continued to look over the spot The Corps were going to be seated before roving over him and sending a short wink his way. I snickered into my hand at this point, laughing at Eren’s stunned expression as he attempted to sit properly back in his chair. Most of the crowd were up and dancing by this point, Reiner and Ymir included as they tried to pull a stiff looking Bertholdt from his chair to join them. Jean was definitely right about the competition being stiff if this was what they were up against. Sure, The Titans were pretty damn good but we were nothing compared to a band like The Corps who were so talented the thought of going up on stage was almost unappealing, especially considering their plain exterior and general awkwardness on the platform before the music began.

_I got this song and now I sing_  
 _Those dirty words, those melodies…_

_Woah, I’m so electric_  
 _Electric_

The audience members jumped from their seats and cheered and screamed loudly at the band as they walked off stage, heading towards the unoccupied chairs beside us. The singer plopped down beside Eren who continued to stare at him even when he looked up.

“What’s that face for, kid?” he said, leaning back into his chair, stoic expression returning to his features, “You constipated or something?”

“I-uh-I-” Eren stuttered, looking down at his shoes before facing the man again, “You were really good up there! All of you were! I mean…”

“Thank you,” the girl playing the guitar giggled, “It’s always nice to get compliments every so often! Isn’t that right, Levi?”

Levi, of whom I know remembered Eren remarking on earlier shrugged and turned back to face him, studying Eren’s face with his piercing blue eyes before letting another small smirk cross his lips, “Yeah, Petra…you’re right. Thanks, kid. Try not to shit yourself up there.”

Eren ignored the last comment and quickly nodded in reply, sighing dreamily as he relaxed back into his chair. Hanji and Mike were back on stage introducing another band and after two or three more performances that weren't even near as good at The Corps, The Titans were finally called on stage. I huffed and breathed inwardly, trying to wash away the nerves that had started to creep up on me. Annie gave me a brief nod and stood up from her seat beside me, the others following behind in tow. This is it, they could either love it or hate it but fuck if I knew the outcome. As if sensing my nerves, Levi glanced over at me from his space beside Eren’s now empty chair.

“You shouldn't worry too much,” he said, eyes flicking back onto the stage, “They look like they know what they’re doing.”

Eren grinned down at me as he and Ymir adjusted their microphone stands, clearly excited about singing in front of such a large audience. I returned the smile and as the band set up their instruments the nerves disappeared.

_I thought of angels choking on their halos_  
 _Get them drunk on rose water_  
 _See how dirty I can get them,_  
 _Pulling out their fragile teeth and clip their tiny wings_

They started off perfectly, just as they had in their rehearsals. Even Levi and the rest of The Corps seemed impressed, as did the rest of the audience. It was a well known song for sure but the different tones of Eren’s voice blend in perfectly with the music, encouraging the crowd to clap along.

_If heaven’s grief brings hell’s reign,_  
 _Then I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday_

Ymir joined in with the backing vocals at this point. Her voice was steady but skilled enough to hold long notes without breaking them. Eren grinned at the crowd, sea green eyes glittering under the strobe lights as he sang more haughtily into the microphone. Maybe I was a little more than glad about being convinced to join the competition and maybe Eren was right for making us endure all those extra practice sessions because I was definitely pretty proud of them right now. I caught Annie’s eye as she glanced around the audience, a small smile on her lips. Music is what had brought the five of us together. We were linked by our love of it and our passion for playing it and as manager there was absolutely no way I could be more proud of my friends.

_Anything you say can and will be held against you_  
 _So only say my name, it will be held against you_

Levi smirked and crossed his arms, leaning across the empty seat to speak to me again, “That’s a good band you've got there.”

“Yeah, I know.”

\---

“Wow, okay,” Hanji chuckled into the microphone, “That one was a crowd pleaser, especially with that lady killer over there!” she grinned, pointing at a startled Eren who was now leaving the stage, “Well, on with the show we must go- hey, that rhymes-!”

“The next group up is Squad 104,” Mike intervened, placing a hand firmly on Hanji’s shoulder, “They’ll be playing Wish by Olivia Lufkin.”

“Hmm, I've never heard of that one before,” Hanji said scratching her chin, before grinning at the audience again “Good luck to you, guys!”

They both walked off stage and the familiar faces from last week appeared, instruments in hand. Sasha bounced towards the microphone and pulled it off of it’s stand, waiting for the others to set up their instruments. They all looked pretty confident in their song choice, even Jean who shot the crowd a cocky grin after throwing the strap of his bass guitar around his shoulders. He spotted us in the audience and I gave a subtle wave in which he responded with a curt nod. I looked around the stage to see what the two others were playing. Connie clutched onto a sleek white electric guitar and Christa was surprisingly sitting behind a large set of drums, twiddling the sticks in her small hands. She counted them in and the music began.

_Mabataki ga kaze wo yobu hohoemi ga_  
 _Zawameki wo keshisaru_

Well shit, that was definitely enough to get the audience’s attention. For a brief moment before I had forgotten she had lived in Japan and still continued to speak it despite moving here a long time ago. She had told us last week about how she had met Jean when she was travelling here to visit her grandparents and apologized, not knowing we had been in a band together before he had agreed to join hers. We brushed it off easily however, six years was more than enough time to forget about these things and though all of this time had past, Jean was still the same as he was all those years ago, if not more of an asshole than before. Eren almost didn't make it through lunch without having a row with him and although Jean was still sort of a dick, he didn't look down on me as he had before he had left.

_Can you feel it now_  
 _Can you feel it now_

The song went on for a while, the crowd still watching in awe as Sasha switched between English and Japanese. I hadn't really known what to expect but their band was much more talented than most of the others in the competition. Their skills were easily picked up on as they played their instruments with ease, almost as though they were attached to their bodies or something. No, gross, that’s creepy. I shuddered in my seat and looked at Eren but turned back with a small smile when I noticed Levi whispering to him while he rushed to nod in agreement. Once the song ended the crowd erupted into cheers and Sasha gave a short bow to the audience before walking off stage with the rest of the band in tow. She winked at me as her and Connie rushed quickly towards their chairs whereas Christa and Jean took their time making their way through the crowd. After a few more acts it was time for the final announcement, after everyone had stored away their respective instruments the bands sat back down in their chairs as Hanji and Mike walked back on stage after a long and boring half an hour interval, smiling as the audience finally settled down.

“Hi again, everyone!” Hanji said, clutching onto her microphone while Mike stood behind the other, holding a large stack of papers, “We've got the new location and all the rules for the next stage to hand out to you as you leave but I would like to formally introduce the whereabouts myself! I’m going to have to call out the bands that have been eliminated this round so you can take your leave before things get too crowded in here.”

Some of the audience groaned at this while others panicked at the thought of being eliminated from the competition. Hanji began to read out the names from a red piece of paper she had taken from her shirt pocket. The list went on for a while, taking out a quarter of the bands attending in which all stalked out of the exit at the immediate mention of their names, some more upset or angry than others. When she had stopped reading I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding in and looked at the others. The Corps still lounged around in their chairs without a single worry to which Levi was now examining his nails as if this was an every day occurrence. I glanced behind us next to find Squad 104 all sharing relieved looking grins. Marco waved at me and I smiled back, turning to face the stage once more.

“That went a lot better than expected! Don’t ya think so Mike?” Hanji giggled.

Mike grunted in reply and Hanji continued, “Right, so our next destination is a nice little beach located on the sunny shores of Stohess,” she sighed and slipped on a pair of sunglasses for good measure, obviously having planned it out before giving away the next stage, “All the info is on the forms so I’ll see you all next week!”

She quickly jumped from the front of the stage and landed expertly on her feet beside Mike who had already left via staircase. The crowd began to get up and leave, as did the bands, that made their way out from a different exit in which Mike stood handing out papers to each of them. The Corps rushed ahead of us as Bertholdt was quickly grabbed from behind by Connie and tugged back into his seat.

“We’re going out for drinks,” Jean said, folding his arms and looking down at his shoes, “The guys wanted to know if you wanted to join us.”

“There will be snacks there too!” Sasha chirped, jumping up and down in her heels, “Please say you’ll join us!”

“It will be fun,” Christa added, smiling sweetly up at us, “It would be nice to get to know our competition.”

“I’m in,” Ymir said, grinning down at her.

“Count me in too!” Eren cheered, wrapping his arm around my neck as we head towards the exit, “Never say no to a good time.”

“Ugh,” Jean snorted, glaring at him from behind, “Just because it gives you the excuse to get wasted and fuck somebody, Jaeger.”

Eren shrugged and carried on walking, ignoring Jean’s snide comments as we made our way out of the warehouse.

“I guess we could go,” I chipped in, receiving grins from both Sasha and Connie who insisted on running ahead of the group, “It would be a nice way to end the night.”

“Never thought I’d hear you say that, Armin,” Jean said, smirking at me.

“Never thought I’d see you again either, but here we are.”

\---

As soon as we entered the club I instantaneously regret my decision. The DJ was playing an obnoxiously loud song by Lil Jon and the bass was thumping so hard through the speakers I thought my head was going to explode. Eren stopped me as soon as we passed the entrance however, as he spotted The Corps sitting at a booth beside the dance floor. They were all chatting animatedly except for Levi, who was looking more bored than he was at the Band’s Choice stage.

“Armin,” Eren hissed, eyes still pointed in their direction, “Let’s dance.”

“But we haven’t even-”

“Come on, just for a while. I've got to get him to notice me somehow.”

For some reason I had suspected this was the case before he had even given me an explanation. Eren knew I was a shitty dancer so that didn’t really help his cause either until he did that stupid begging thing with his eyes to get what he wanted.

“Pleeaaase, Armin,” he whined, hanging onto my arm as I watched the rest of our friends make their way towards the bar, “Just this once come on.”

“Fine,” I huffed as he let out a small cheer and dragged me towards the crowded dance floor, making sure to push through the crowd and into a space in Levi’s line of vision.

It was hard to keep up with Eren as he wiggled his hips to beat of the song, leaving me awkwardly standing beside him. He didn’t seem to notice however as he continued to ignore me and made me question why he forced me over here in the first place, continuing to bite his lip and glance seductively over at Levi. It wasn’t long until Eren caught his attention and I almost cried a little in joy as Levi finally got up from his seat without a word to his band members, who looked rather confused at his actions, and sauntered over to where we were “dancing.”

“Mind if I steal your partner?” he asked me, eyes flickering towards Eren who was almost gushing with pride for his actions. 

“Please do,” I replied, immediately heading off of the dance floor and towards the bar where my friends sat until I heard a familiar voice call me back.

“Hey!” Petra called, waving her hand to grab my attention. I paused and walked over to The Corps who had seemed to have quickly forgotten about Levi’s sudden disappearance. 

A broad shouldered, blonde man I hadn't seen earlier was sat with them, he made a space beside him and I reluctantly sat down. The group stopped conversing to look at me while the man introduced himself, grinning down at me with his perfectly straight white teeth.

“Erwin Smith, band manager, here’s my card,” he said, handing me a small rectangular piece with The Corps’ logo and information, “I’m afraid we haven’t met yet.”

I decided to put on my best smile to try and get out of this, I scanned the dance floor for Eren but it was near impossible to find him amongst the swarm of people grinding on each other, ugh, “I'm Armin Arlet,” I greeted stiffly, “I manage The Titans, it’s nice to meet you but it appears I haven’t yet been properly introduced to your colleagues.”

“Ah, of course,” he replied, “How rude of me. This is Gunther, Erd, Petra and Auruo. Levi is off somewhere but, ah…” he trailed off, scratching his neck awkwardly as I raised my eyebrows at him, “It’s nice to meet you too. Where are the rest of your band?”

I narrowed my eyes slightly at this, sitting back in my seat. He was pretty nosey but didn't seem to have any bad intentions, so I kept it formal, “Well, I was just about to go over and greet them before.”

“Maybe you could introduce us,” Petra smiled politely, “It would be nice to meet some of the other bands in the competition.”

“Sure,” I said, hurriedly getting up from my seat, “I’ll tell them you said hi or something.”

“But I-”

“Bye!”

This was no good at all. Now Eren is gone and that other band with that Mr. Perfect manager guy, ugh- it was all too much. I head towards where my friends were seated at the bar and plopped down beside Reiner who was laughing loudly at something Annie had said and continued slurping down his drink.

“Hey, you don’t look so good,” he chuckled, slapping me on the back and ordering another drink from an unhappy looking bartender, “Where’s Eren?”

“No clue,” I said as Reiner tossed me the drink. I sipped it slowly and continued, “I kind of just want to get this over and done with now I think about it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, “The guys’ are having fun, that’s all that counts right.”

It was true the two bands had become fast friends. I looked around at the others and shrank back in my seat. Ymir and Christa were chatting in an empty booth that Connie and Sasha had insisted on dancing wildly around while Marco sat the other end of the bar with Bertholdt who had finally found the courage to have an in depth conversation with people other than Annie or Reiner. Annie herself sat quietly beside him, sipping on a small pink coloured drink and ignoring the loud atmosphere.

“Where’s Jean?” I asked, glancing around the place once more to find he was the only one missing.

“He went outside for a smoke,” Annie said, standing from her seat and walking towards where Bertholdt and Marco were sitting.

“I’m going to go find him,” I told Reiner, jumping from my chair and heading out of the club. 

I soon spotted Jean leaning against the brick wall away from the line at the entrance and walked over to stand beside him, waiting for him to look at me before I spoke, “Smoking is bad for you, you know.”

“Yeah, Sasha says that a lot too,” he chuckled, looking back up into cloudy night sky, “Haven’t spoken to her all night though.”

“Relationship problems?” I asked boldly, his gaze snapped back over to me before he let out a small snort and breathed out another puff of smoke.

“You could say that…Things have been bad for a while now but there’s nothing I can do about it. Fuck, Armin have you seen the way she looks at Connie? Cause it ain’t the same as the way she looks at me now,” he sighed and dropped his cigarette, crunching the butt into the ground with the heel of his shoe, “If anything goes down the band’s future will be at stake and fuck if I’m going to mess it all up for them.”

I didn’t say anything for a while but then nodded in response. It was weird for Jean to speak about this kind of stuff considering how confident he usually was about everything that had happened so I wasn’t going to miss the chance to talk to him about it.

“So, what are you going to do?” I asked, “stay in a train wreck of a relationship and just hope everything turns out okay?”

“You are pretty brash sometimes, you know,” he snickered, “What happened to the little blonde nerd I always knew?”

“Maybe that was just you making assumptions,” I sighed, “but no he’s still here.”

“Just not as little.”

“Just not as little,” I agreed, smiling up at him and crossing my arms to try and shake away the cold that had seemed to seep through my body, “It’s cold as shit out here.”

“Do you want my jacket?” Jean asked, but before I could refuse he had already taken it off and handed it to me so I shrugged it on despite it being too big for my slender frame, “but you know, uh,” he continued, “no homo.”

“Whatever, Jean,” I grinned, punching him in the arm, “Whatever.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cookies, ice skating and a little back story time.

When my fingers touched the keys of my piano it felt as if the rest of the world had somehow drifted away. It was just me and the music. I hummed as I played, letting my hands move slowly along the surface and my fingertips dance along the row of white I envisioned. The image was perfectly etched into my brain. I pulled away from the keys and grabbed the book I had placed by my side, jotting down notes in messy scrawl before putting it gently back onto the seat. It had been a while since I’d played like this, or even attempted to write music. The skill was still there and it pleased me, forcing me to fight down the grin working it’s way onto my face. The tune was played flawlessly and I had to brush away the tears I could feel dribbling down my cheeks.

“It’s not like that stupid little brother of mine to leave you down here alone,” Mikasa said, manoeuvring past empty guitar cases and other instruments blocking her path. She sat swiftly down beside me on the piano stool and picked up my book, “You’re writing again?”

“Don’t tell Eren,” I chuckled, taking it from her and placing it onto the music stand, “He’ll want to use it for the competition or something ridiculous.”

“A personal piece?”

“It's somewhat like that, I guess.”

She smiled softly and nodded towards the keys, “Show me.”

I placed my hands in the starting position and scanned through the notes briefly before pressing onto the keys, slowly at first before changing pace and increasing the speed. She watched carefully, her usually reserved smile widening as I continued to play, stopping suddenly as the notes stopped abruptly on the paper. I smiled shakily back up at her and she pulled me into a quick hug. I let the tears continue to fall this time as I struggled to maintain control of my breathing. Seeing others appreciate my pieces always gave me a sudden warmth in my stomach that stretched out until it reached my face, turning it a slight shade of red.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s unfinished.”

“It doesn't matter.”

She finally released me and looked up at the ceiling as a large bang and a loud, “Ah, fuck,” was heard from the living room above, she shot me an apologetic look before pulling herself off of her seat to check on whatever Eren had most likely broken upstairs. I stayed sat by the piano for a short while longer. Admiring the glossy sheen of it's surface with my fingers before closing it’s fall board and stepping out of the room and up the stairs to join them.

“Hey, man,” Eren mumbled from the kitchen counter, chewing on a currently steaming cookie that he was somehow immune to getting burnt by, “Sorry for leaving you here but Bertholdt got stuck in that hole again. Oh, and Mikasa made cookies!”

“How did it happen this time,” I asked, pulling up a chair to sit beside him.

“Well, you know what Annie gets like when she’s mad. Poor Bertl accidentally trod on her guitar and I guess you know what happened next.”

“I pray for his survival.”

“As do I, my friend. As do I… Say,” he continued, glancing about the hall in case Mikasa appeared before taking another cookie, “do you think I should get myself a new guitar? Acoustic, maybe. I mean, I saved up enough and Levi says-”

“Levi, huh?” I said, wiggling my eyebrows at him until he flushed a few shades darker.

“Yes, Levi,” he huffed, turning to look at the counter while reaching for another cookie, only to miss and end up swiping the air half heartedly, “I kind of, maybe went back with him last night and we spoke for a while, you know, after-”

“After what?”

“Shit, Mikasa!” he shrieked, spinning around in his chair to face his sister’s hard glare, “Don’t just sneak up on me like that!”

“Who’s Levi,” _Uh oh._

“He’s just some guy I met the other day!” Eren yelled, “No biggie.”

“I bet he was-”

“Not now, Armin!”

I snorted into my hand while Eren continued to argue with his sister. I ended up snatching a cookie for myself and got up from my chair as the two fought, grabbing my blue zip-up hoodie before walking to the door and calling out a hearty goodbye, slamming it behind me quickly afterwards. I checked my phone as soon as I had stepped outside to find I had gotten a message from Sasha, we had exchanged numbers the other day at the club and it turned out she liked to text, a lot.

**_Received today at 2:14pm_ **  
_hey Armin, u wana come ice skating w/ us?_

**_Sent today at 2:24pm_ **  
_Isn’t it a bit hot…Who else is going?_

**_Received today at 2:24_ **  
_thats the point silly and umm~me jean christa ymir & connie <3_

I snickered a bit at the heart at the end before tapping out a brief reply.

**_Sent today at 2:25pm_ **  
_Sure, I’ll go._

**_Received at 2:25pm_ **  
_meet us at sina park ok :D_  
 _we r gona head over 2getha_

**_Sent at 2:26pm_ **  
_Alright._

I put my phone away and started heading towards the park. Luckily it wasn’t too far from Eren’s house so I made it there in under ten minutes. The rest of the group were waiting underneath a large tree shading the area and I waved to them as I approached.

“Hey, Armin!” Sasha grinned, jumping up from her place on the ground and pulling me over to the group, “We haven’t been waiting all that long but it’s pretty hot out here so let’s go!”

She seemed to be as enthusiastic as ever, humming a song as she skipped ahead along the sidewalk, side by side with Connie. I saw Jean sneer slightly from beside me but he didn’t comment on it, instead he carried on walking, staring at the ground until we arrived at the ice rink. Christa and Ymir were talking animatedly behind us and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the smaller girl’s enthusiasm, I had heard her tell Ymir that she had a real passion for figure skating when she was younger and the other had agreed whole heartedly that ice skating was in fact “the bomb.”

“I’m not all that great at this,” I commented as we pulled on our skates and shuffled towards the rink, “I’ll probably fall on my face as soon as I step on the ice.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Connie called back, sliding expertly across the rink with Sasha on his heels, “Just hold onto the side and you’ll be fine!”

Jean mumbled something incoherently and stepped onto the ice, standing still for a while until getting his balance and offering a hand out to me, “It’s not too difficult,” he said, pulling me onto the ice, “Just stick by me.”

We skid across the ice together, hand in hand until I got my balance but continued to skate side by side, talking and laughing at the rest of our friends as they slipped multiple times. I still clung to Jean’s arm firmly, relishing in the warmth that continued to fill me as we slid around the rink.

“I can see what you meant about Sasha now,” I said, breaking the small silence that had been floating between us for the last few minutes, “ She looks so happy… But, uh, doesn't it hurt?”

“Come on, Armin. I thought you were more sensitive than that,” he glanced down at me though he didn't seem irritated in any way, “Is it bad that I’ve kind of gotten used to it now?”

I scanned the rink quickly, spotting the two racing each other across the ice, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to come out like that. I don’t really know about this sort of thing…”

“It’s okay,” he huffed, cheeks slightly red from the cold of the rink, “What do you mean you don’t know? You've had a girlfriend before right?”

“N-no…” I mumbled, looking away from him, “It’s not like I have time and this may sound kind of stupid and all but I haven’t even kissed anyone let alone had a girlfriend.”

Jean stopped in his tracks, forcing us both to a halt, “You're kidding me!? You've never kissed anyone before?”

“I-is that bad?”

“No, haha- I’m just confused,” he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck before staring back down at me, “I mean, you’re really c-cute- for a guy that is!”

I rolled my eyes and carried on skating, pulling him along the ice with me and trying to fight the warm feeling that had travelled to my cheeks and spread across my face. After skating for a while longer, we decided to take a break from the ice and stand on the empty sidelines, waiting for the rest of our friends to finish up. I looked up at Jean to find him staring at Sasha and Connie’s figures at the other side of the rink, dancing badly to the music thumping inside the crowded building. He frowned and leaned over the side of the barrier, turning his head slightly to lock eyes with me. His cheeks were still red from the cold of the ice and the hand propping up his chin quickly slid to his beanie, pulling it down further over his ears.

“You look like you have something you want to say,” he murmured, breaking his gaze to stare back out at the rink, “I can never tell what you’re thinking, so go ahead and just spit it out.”

_I’m worried about you._

“It’s nothing,” I sighed, following his eyes to look amongst the skaters that had gathered at the entrance on the other side. Sasha was one of them, talking and laughing with Connie as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, continuing to skate along to the music.

_Why do I feel so sick so suddenly._

“Jean,” I said, looking up to catch his attention again. His eyes were glossier than they had been a few seconds ago and he looked near ready to throw up. The sight made my heart pang sharply in my chest, causing me to shut my eyes as he had done previously. I dared to shuffle slightly closer, wrapping my arms around him and pulling into a tight embrace. After a few seconds he relaxed into my hold and slowly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest while trying to muffle a loud sob that had managed to escape his lips.

“The question you asked before. You were right,” he mumbled into my hair, “It hurts. It hurts way too fucking much to see her so happy, she is too good for me, Armin. So just tell me what the hell you're thinking because I don’t want to pretend that I'm stronger than I really am or that the pain isn't there any more. And fuck, I just want to know if I'm stable enough to carry on with this shit, so just tell me…Be real to me, please…”

I couldn't speak or even move at that point in time. It was like my feet had been perfectly planted into the ground and the roots were shooting up, entangling me like they had done many times before. It felt the same as all the others. Airy.

_“I am relying on you, Armin. Just tell me the truth because this is what I really need to hear.”_

No.

_“No, no! Start over. You’ll never get it right if you keep playing like that!”_

Oh god, no.

\---

_“You sicken me!” she screeched, pushing me into that room. The room in what everything had forever become cold and lonesome. Isolated in my own home but glad it was here with me. The final piece to my unfinished puzzle. I slid my small fingers across the keys experimentally, jumping as a loud sound was heard admitting from the contraption. After a few more generously thought out seconds, I cautiously made my way back over to my new fascination. I could still hear her shrill voice echoing in my head as I sat down on the stool, brushing my hands over the cold exterior. I think I had sat in that room for hours until I heard a new voice bellowing from outside of the door. A loud bang was heard and it flew open, a tall man stepped towards me, beckoning me over until I had reached the doorway. He sat me down on the stairs and pulled out a first aid kit, tending to my wounds. I could still her screaming from above, smashing anything in her path yet struggling to breathe out her final words to me before she had gone. They played again and again in my mind, forcing me to repeat them under my breath until I decided that she would be satisfied. Like some sort of messed up cassette tape running inside a broken radio again and again and again and again._

_“I thought I could trust you! Armin- Armin!?”_

“Armin-!?” Mikasa screeched, shaking me until I let out an audible breath, opening my eyes to stare around the plain white room.

“He’s awake, for fucks sake, Mikasa,” Eren growled, “Stop now, you‘re hurting him!”

“Did it happen again Armin?” she whispered, crouching down beside me on my bed. Wait, this wasn't my bed or my room.

“Where am I?” I groaned, trying to sit up before sliding back down onto my pillows at the sudden dizziness I'd felt, “What happened?”

“Jean told us that you started hyperventilating and passed out,” Eren said, “You’re in hospital, Armin.”

“When will I be able to get out of here!?”

“The doctor said that you’ll need to stay for a day at least,” Mikasa sighed, brushing my bangs out of my eyes, “Just to make sure you've fully recovered.”

“I'm fine,” I mumbled, finally gathering enough strength to prop myself up against the cushions behind me, “Is Jean okay? I didn't mean to scare him.”

“He stayed with you for a few hours earlier. I'm not surprised you don’t remember since you were out cold when we got here."

I smiled and continued to talk to them for a while longer, asking them about how the rest of their day went and sharing details from mine. I avoided the topic of playing their piano beforehand, knowing that may have been one of the things that had triggered me earlier. It was my own fault for daring to try again. I had suckered myself into thinking that it would all be okay despite my grandfather asking me to stop all those years ago for the sake of my own god damn well being. I had abused his absence and I had taken dangerous control of the situation. I knew that after it had started I would have to give it all up, but my love for music had forever earned a place in my heart and beckoned it’s way into my soul, my very being.

Giving up wasn't my choice and that was what drove me to carry on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started off as a normal band au but I decided to deepen the plot because of reasons, yeah (great excuse).
> 
> I hope this didn't throw you guys off, my main focus will be on the whole battle of the bands thing but I wanted to dig a little bit deeper.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like 90% emotion with a few funnies. I don't know when I decided to get all angsty but I hope I'm not moving too fast!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs in this chapter are:
> 
> Gravity- Sara Bareilles  
> Crystalised- Gorillaz (the Xx cover)

_“I am relying on you, Armin. Just tell me the truth because this is what I really need to hear,” my grandfather said, pushing the swelling, black suitcase into my grasp, “Is this what you really want to do?”_

_“Yes,” I lied, brushing away the blonde strands of hair, clinging to my cheeks, “Isn’t this how it normally works? You finish high school then go to college, right?”_

_“But Armin, you aren’t…” he cut me off, sighing and leading me out of his quaint little house and down the driveway to where I had parked my small car beforehand. I knew what he was going to say, he didn’t even have to finish his sentence. You aren’t normal, Armin. None of this is normal. You aren’t like Eren or Mikasa or any of your friends. This isn’t right, this isn’t for you._

_It had been a short while after the attacks started but they were recurring constantly now. They stopped when grandfather finally had the guts to throw the old piano out. It was the only connection I still had with her but it seemed to solve the problem. Though, to be in a band and refuse to play my chosen instrument was enough to break the rest of us. We all stayed friends, sure. But not very good ones._

_Eren refused to give up on me. I would sit in my dorm after that, laughing at something stupid he said on skype and preparing to study for my next exam. It was during those hours I fully understood my place in this deteriorating society. Those I was acquainted with during my college education told me I had too much potential to waste on a music career and though I believed them at the time, it was impossible to let go of my desire to play again._

_“This isn’t what I want,” I whispered, staring down at the perfectly polished white keys of the grand piano. Being able to look had always been enough to kill the need but to touch would simply do damage again, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”_

“-You’re spacing out again,” Mikasa sighed, guiding my hands across the keys, “It’ll be okay, just don’t think about it.”

I let out a loud sigh and stared down at the keys and my hovering hands. They were pale despite the warmth of the weather and I began to feel the sickly feeling in my stomach the longer I looked.

“But what if it happens again?” I asked, looking down at the decaying white paint of the piano keys, “I can’t control it, Mikasa.”

“You need to readjust to it,” she said, nodding towards my notebook, filled with last week’s notes and rushed lyrics, “You still remember how it goes, right? Just keep trying, Eren won’t hear you either, so no worries.”

I nodded and hesitantly raised my hands to rest in their proper position on the piano, studying the keys carefully before playing the first note. Nothing.

I took a deep breath and continued to play, slowly relaxing until the sound was smooth enough for my liking- as if I were attached to the instrument myself. I continued past the notes jotted down and hummed along, letting the words roll off my tongue as the rhythm became fast paced. I stopped abruptly and took another breath of air. So far so good. I took my book from the stand and scribbled down some more notes along with a few lyrics that seemed vaguely familiar, though I’m sure they hadn’t been sung. More likely said, perhaps.

“Is that all for today,” Mikasa whispered as if trying not to break the sudden streak I was on.

“Yeah, I’ve got to get ready and meet the others at Annie’s place,” I said, slipping off of the piano stool and heading up the stairs before pausing and turning back to the stoic looking girl, “Thanks, Mikasa. For everything.” 

She nodded in response and I left the house in a hurry, quickly legging it back to my apartment in order to get dressed and pack in time. Today was stage two of the competition and I’m not sure if we are as ready as we had been during the first performance. Stage two was supposedly a round for a softer kind of sound, (according to Hanji, anyway) though she allowed every band to cut down on members as some instruments wouldn’t work this time around. Bertholdt seemed to be overjoyed as he’d get to sit out this time around, I guess he didn’t really enjoy the attention as much as the other band members, especially Ymir and Eren, who always jumped at the chance to play in front of a large audience. I quickly changed into a short sleeved t-shirt and a pair of light blue skinny jeans, grabbing my car keys and a plain, white duffel bag I had filled with things we might need during our visit to the beach. I arrived at Annie’s house around four o’clock and most of the band were already there with an exception of Annie herself. Eren knocked on the window of the passenger side and I nearly jumped in surprise. He called something back to Reiner, Bertholdt and a bored looking Ymir and hopped in beside me whilst they waited patiently outside. Annie finally emerged from her house carrying a light blue cooler and another large backpack and stuffed them into the trunk as everyone else squished inside of the vehicle. Once we were finally on the road, the car became intensely hot despite my friends sliding down their windows as “the a/c was not cold enough” for their liking.

After a couple of hours of arguing and bad radio hosts talking about the weather, we finally arrived in Trost. The beach was more crowded than usual due to the competition so once we had found a spot on the sand we placed down our large towels, watching the stage beside the bar light up. 

“It’s really nice here,” Bertholdt sighed, stretching out his long arms and spreading his towel further across the sand, wiping the sweat threatening to fall from his brow.

“It’s really hot here,” Annie deadpanned, glaring out at the sea.

“I think it’s pretty awesome too, Bertl,” Reiner grinned, reaching over to place a large umbrella over the unhappy blonde, shading her from the sun in which he was rewarded by one of her rare smiles.

\---

The stage was a lot nicer this time around. Multicoloured lights hung from the rails above and multiple instruments were readily set readily in place for all the performers.  
Despite this convenient set up, a small beach hut was located behind the stage where some other instruments were placed by many of the musicians themselves. The members of Squad 104 found us almost instantly and placed their towels down beside us, chatting happily away with the rest of our band. Jean plopped down beside me and shot me a short glance before glancing up to examine the décor of the place. 

“Are you alright after what happened last week?” he asked, his concerned expression masking his usual scowl.

“I’m fine,” I replied, eyeing him wearily. He looked pretty worn out himself judging by the dark circles underneath his eyes and the unusual pale sheen of his skin despite the sun’s warm rays shining down on us, “But you aren’t.”

“Thanks for noticing what a hot mess I am, dude. I really appreciate the comment.”

“You’re welcome.”

He returned his gaze to me then, his usual scowl had vanished but his expression was otherwise unreadable. I held my breath as he leaned forward, hands digging into the large beach towel beneath us. He slowly raised his hand and brushed a strand of my hair out of my eyes before examining my face more closely.

“You should probably cut your fringe,” he sighed, leaning back on his hands and looking back at the stage as Hanji and Mike finally made their entrance.

I turned my head away and stared down at the specks of sand that had started to creep on top of my towel, cheeks heating up, “Y-yeah.”

“Hello, everybody!” Hanji yelled into the microphone, “Welcome to Trost, I hope you’ve all been having a good time so far but now it’s time for stage two to begin!”

“As you already know, we will be playing some softer songs this round,” Mike said, glancing down at a grinning Hanji, “So you will be allowed to cut some of your fellow bandmates for this stage only.”

“That’s right! Oooh, I am so excited, aren’t you excited, Mike! It will all be so fitting and romantic and-”

“Let’s give a nice warm welcome to our first band of the evening…”

“The Military Men! Whoop, whoop!”

\---

I rubbed my eyes as I watched another band leave the brightly lit stage. The heat was still exhausting and I was beginning to hope today’s gig would finish up so I could get back to my nice air conditioned car. Bertholdt had gotten up to pee multiple times already due to a strange outbreak of sweat that covered most of his tanned skin. Eren was also busy trying to seek out Levi and the rest of The Corps in the meantime. I was surprised at how quickly our bands had made friends, especially after I ditched them at that bar the week before and they had forgotten the incident quickly enough. Probably thinking it was due to intoxication or something stupid. After an hour of various acts it was finally time for Squad 104 to perform. Sasha and Christa waved us hearty goodbyes and clambered up from the sand, making their way to the stage steps. Sasha grinned and stood in front of the keyboard, watching as Christa quickly made her way to the back of the small beach hut beside the bar, pulling out a small guitar case- well at least I thought it was a guitar of some sort until she pulled out a delicate looking violin and positioned it at her neck. The audience cheered at their peculiar choice in instruments this round as the two girls nodded quickly at each other, Sasha planting her fingers softly on the keys before pressing down to signal the start of the song.

_Something always brings me back to you_  
 _It never takes to long_  
 _No matter what I say or do_  
 _I still feel you here, till the moment I’ve gone…_

Her voice was still as sweet as I remembered, it drew the audience in and Christa’s careful bow sliding across the strings of her small violin only deepened the mood. The audience didn’t utter a word as they listened, mesmerized by their display. I watched the faces of my friends relax, all except for Jean. He sat tensely on the sand, eyes practically willing the performance to end.

_Set me free, leave me be_  
 _I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity_  
 _Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be_  
 _But you’re onto me and all over me…_

Her hands pressed down firmly onto the keys, eyes glossy with tears that had yet to fall. Maybe it was the mood, maybe it was the song or maybe it was the unsaid feelings or emotions pouring out of her. She didn’t look at Jean or any of the audience. She stared blankly up at the orange sky then back down at the keyboard, forgetting everything else. In her head she was floating. Her words containing more hurt than anything. It was enchanting and I was spellbound- we all were.

Except for him.

_I live here on my knees as I try to make you see_  
 _That you’re everything I think I need here on the ground_

_But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go._  
 _The one thing I still know is that you’re keeping me down_

Her voice rang throughout the stage and its landscape as she finally looked down towards the audience, smiling back at the crowd before closing her eyes and lowering her tone slightly.

_You’re on to me, on to me…and all over…_

_Something always brings me back to you_  
 _It never takes too long…_

The audience broke into loud cheers as Sasha left the stage abruptly, leaving a slightly startled Christa alone to gently pack away her violin and head back towards the hut she had left it in. They both found us easily after their performance and walked back as Hanji hopped back onto stage. Sasha sat down next to Jean and squashed beside him as he hesitantly wrapped his arm around her shoulders. I hid my face and looked down at the burning sand beneath my fingers, shuffling away from Jean. The scene felt too intimate to engage in, although I could still feel the burn of his gaze on the back of my head.

“-And next up we have The Corps,” Hanji squealed, “I’m sure this performance is going to pretty interesting. After winning the title of King in this competition for four years in a row we’ve had yet to hear them endure such a challenge! I don’t think they normally play slow songs either so let’s see them give it their best shot!”

The Corps practically dragged themselves up on the stage, fatigued from the warm rays of the sun and the steady pounding of waves on the sea shore. Levi looked just as uninterested as the last time they performed- It kind of made me wonder if he really was bored or if that was just his default expression. The rest of the band quickly got in position, which was surprisingly, most of them. Maybe they weren’t good at slow songs after all. I squinted up at the stage. Petra held a long keytar closely to her chest and brought forth another microphone. Gunther took his place in his usual spot behind the keyboard while their singer tried to ignore the confused shouts from Hanji and some other members of the audience, desperately asking why they needed two instruments that were nearly the same anyway, although, the crowd started to listen carefully as the song began despite the lyrics being unfamiliar to a majority of them.

_You’ve applied the pressure to have me crystallized_  
 _And you’ve got the faith that I could bring paradise_  
 _I’ll forgive and forget before I’m paralysed_  
 _Do I have to keep up this pace to keep you satisfied_

Though they looked equally as unorganized and were dressed as plainly as last time, they still played just as well and with equally as much charisma, though it was only subtle this time around. Levi slicked his hand through his hair and gripped tightly onto the microphone, pulling it gently towards him as he sang. I looked back up towards Sasha and Jean who were now sitting slightly further in front of me, still squashed in a tight embrace. As if sensing my lingering gaze Jean turned his head towards me, mouthing something I couldn’t comprehend then turning his attention back towards the stage.

_You don’t move slow and taking steps in my direction_  
 _The sound resounds echos_  
 _Does it lessen your affection…_

I found myself humming along with many other members of the audience. I felt a sense of calm wash over me as the music continued to play- it was surely a cure for anything. I had expected something to happen after my session with Mikasa this morning but maybe someone else’s sound could fix that. I stared down at my gaunt fingers and ran the tips along the sand, smiling to myself. Or maybe that was just what I wanted to believe for now.

_Glaciers have melted to the sea_  
 _I wish the tide could take me over_  
 _I’ve been down on my knees_  
 _And you just keep on getting closer…_

“Hey! Armin, where are you going?” Eren called as I shot up from my seat, “We’re on soon!”

“It’s- uh, I need to get something from the car!” I yelled back as I paced through the sand, “I’ll be back before you guys are on!”

“You better be,” Ymir grinned, chucking a water bottle at me before I got too far off, “It’s hot out there so hurry, man.”

I caught the drink with ease and walked as quickly as I could back out to the car park before darting off in the other direction as soon as I was out of my friends’ line of vision. I found a nearby bench on a desolated pier and plopped down heavily, trying to even out my breathing before it got too bad.

Control it, Armin.

God dammit, just keep breathing.

My quick intakes of air slowly evened out and I continued to sit for a while longer with no intention of heading back, feeling slightly proud of myself as I cradled the glistening bottle of water in my sweaty palms.

“You okay?”

I turned as Jean sat down beside me, popping the cap of my drink open and guiding it towards my mouth.

“I’m fine,” I answered before taking a sip and staring back up at him.

“It’s getting kind of dark so I wanted to make sure you were doing alright but you weren’t at your car like you said.”

“How did you even know which car was mine, stalker,” I snorted, rubbing my eyes when I felt a quick yawn push its way through my lips.

“Are you serious, Armin?” he chuckled, “It’s the same old piece of shit from all those years back. Do you really think I forgot?”

I shrugged in response and sent him a small glare in which was probably the cause of him laughing even harder. 

“Why’d you come out so far anyway?” he continued, leaning back in his seat and staring out at the small waves in the distance, “Your band will be playing soon. We’ll miss them if we don’t leave now.”

“I just needed some time to myself, my head was hurting from the noise and-”

“We both know you didn’t leave because of a headache, Armin.”

“Then why did you?” I asked.

“Why did I what?”

“Leave.”

He stared blankly at me for a moment before looking back out at the ocean again, the orange sky framing it in a near perfect contrast with the sun’s soft rays.

“If I tell you what happened after I left will you tell me why you did?” Jean said, scooting a little closer to me on the bench.

“That depends whether you are talking about then or now.”

“We both know which one I’m talking about.”

Our staring match didn’t cease until a while longer. We had somehow changed positions slightly to which I was kneeling beside him as our faces drew steadily closer. He finally let out a loud sigh and crossed his arms, turning away to study the design on his shorts.

“I decided to leave The Titans a while after I met Marco. Sasha had been on at me about joining her band for a while but I always declined until we met and I guess we kind of hit it off from the start. He brought me to their rehearsals a lot and we just kind of sat there together, talking about my dates with Sasha and stuff, you know? Just about how it all started and what not,” he let out small snort at the memory and shook his head.

“What?”

“No, it’s just funny how all of this ended up. If someone told me that six years after I left you guys that I would be sitting here with you…I wouldn’t believe a damn word of it. So, yeah, uh… I kind of felt for Sasha a bit after all this shit and wow, I am a seriously selfish guy but-”

“Just spit it out, Jean.”

“I kinda fell for him. Yeah, that’s it. I’m a stuck-in-the-closet jerkoff who can’t set his shit straight and I’ve been with a girl I don’t love for almost seven whole fucking years. I swear she can see it, Armin. She knows. But she still hasn’t said anything about it and I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.”

I turned my eyes towards the gushing water, trying to fight down a sharp pang of whatever the fuck feeling I could feel stabbing at me from the inside out. Was it jealousy? No, it couldn’t be. Maybe it was just nausea from staring at the water for too long or the pounding I could feel within my ears, causing them and my face to flush in realization.

“I know what you’re thinking. “How could he do that to her” “Oh he’s such a bad guy” and yeah, Armin. I’m an awful guy and Sasha deserves a hell of a lot better than me.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

“Armin-”

“Do you-?” I asked, vision blurring slightly as I looked up at him, eyes heavy, “Do you love him, Jean?”

“No, that was before but now I-” he cut himself short and peered closely at me, eyebrows furrowing in thought before snapping, “Are you crying?”

“No,” I lied, rubbing at the small flecks of water I could feel slipping out of the corner of my eyes. I felt humiliated. I don’t know when this pathetic crush had started but it had to be rid of soon. It wasn’t much help when Jean hesitantly lift my chin and wiped away the water from my face, forcing my to hold my breathe as he gently caressed my flushed cheeks.

“I’m sorry for leaving you all. It was selfish of me and I wish I could just take it all back and start over with the lot of you.”

“Finish the story,” I murmured, pulling his hand away from my cheeks but not letting go of it. Resting our joint palms on my lap.

He looked down at me and reluctantly continued, making sure to maintain eye contact until he was finished, “I think when she found out she started hanging around Connie more often to make me jealous. The whole situation was pathetic and I don’t know why the hell we didn’t break up in the first place and she fell for him as quickly as I had Marco but-” he took a deep breath, “but her feelings didn’t go unrequited…” his voice turned to a whisper before he could finish. 

We sat in silence for a moment before he began again, concluding my expectation, “He said he didn’t feel the same way…it was all for nothing and she had won someone more valuable from it-”

“You need to end it with Sasha.”

“I know,” he said, getting up from the bench and stretching his arms above his head before offering a hand to pull me from my seat, “Let’s head back.”

I nodded and started walking though he slowed slightly until I turned, raising a questioning brow.

“Hey,” he mumbled, “Don’t tell anyone what we talked about, okay? I just feel like I can really trust you.”

I nodded and forced a smile, running a hand quickly through my already messy hair and bolting down the pier much to Jean’s surprise.

“Last one to the beach licks Bertholdt’s sock!” I yelled, waving back at him until he started to move, catching up with me a bit too quickly and rushing in front.

When we got back to the beach our places were near empty. Many of the audience members had begun to slow dance to a rather familiar tune being played on stage. I looked up to find Eren staring back at me. Sea green eyes glinting tenaciously in the warm sunlight. 

I glanced at the smiling face of Marco and also Sasha, who was happily dancing with Connie. Whatever was going on, I couldn’t really tell at that moment as I stood with Jean, staring around at the discarded beach towels and the large cascade of sand surrounding them.

“Hey,” I whispered, causing my cheeks to warm again as he looked down at me, “I left because I was scared of what would happen if I didn’t.”

“You don’t need to explain anymore,” he grinned back grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me along with him to the small platform where many of the audience were swaying to the music, “May I have this dance, good sir?” he said with a mock bow, ignoring the confused looks from some of the other people in the area.

I tried to fight the grin pushing its way onto my face but for some reason it was impossible to do so. I giggled slightly and took his hand, relishing in the warm feeling I could feel creeping up my spine, making my fingers tingle in anticipation.

“You may.”


End file.
